October 3, mere hours after the Wall Street bailout became law, the Associated Press reported

Stocks ended a volatile week with another sell-off Friday while credit markets remained strained after enthusiasm over the government’s $700 billion financial rescue plan gave way to worries about obstacles still facing the economy.

Did you miss the enthusiasm, too?  For $700 billion, I hoped it would last a bit longer.  At least post a party pic of Bernanke licking tequila salt off Hank Paulson’s head, or give me a tumescent little spike on the Dow or something.  (Is that your share price, or are you happy to see me?)  What’s a taxpayer got to do for some love around here?

I’ll give them a few days to absorb the news, but by mid month, the markets had better be happier than Cheech & Chong and so flipping liquid they slosh when they blink. If not, this Halloween, I’m going door to door as The Dow. I’ll say, “Trick or treat,” and then when they give me candy I’ll kick their dog, water their shoes and set fire to their porch.

I bet the Treasury will even reimburse me for the match.

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